Empowering Boys: How Chess Can Build Healthy Masculinity

Are Boys OK?

Young men and boys in our schools are struggling, not just in the classroom, but in navigating what it means to be a man in today’s world. This isn’t just anecdotal; the data paints a clear picture.

According to a 2023 Brookings report on early childhood education, American girls are 14 percentage points more likely to be “school ready” than boys at age five, even when accounting for parental characteristics. This gap is particularly evident in low-income families.  This early developmental advantage can create a positive feedback loop for girls, fostering greater engagement, confidence, and academic success in their early school years.

The Academic Gap: A Closer Look

Beyond early readiness, boys exhibit lower school completion rates and overall academic performance, as shown by Grade Point Averages. While tremendous global strides have been made in girls’ access to education over the past three decades—the percentage of girls completing secondary school worldwide increased from 36% in 2000 to 61% in 2023—this still means nearly 40% of adolescent girls don’t complete upper secondary education. For adolescent boys and young men,  42% do not finish upper secondary school. Statistics in the U.S. mirror this disparity.

In U.S. high schools, there are twice as many boys as girls in the bottom 10% (decile) of students ranked by GPA scores, and twice as many girls as boys in the top decile. These gender gaps in GPA are visible across subject areas, including math, science, and Career and Technical Education (CTE).

In contrast, the gaps are much less pronounced on the SAT. Boys are over-represented in both the top decile (57%) and the bottom decile (56%). They also outperform girls on the math portion of the SAT, particularly at the top of the scoring distribution, accounting for 61% of the top decile. Interestingly, while middle school math and science scores have continued to drop in the wake of the pandemic, scores for middle school girls dropped significantly more than for boys.

Conflicting Messages and The Consequences

The academic struggles of boys are compounded by conflicting social messages about what it means to be a man in the 21st century. This confusion has many sources:

• the breakdown of old gender stereotypes including
  • greater participation of women in traditionally male-dominated fields
  • Increased social acceptance of more fluid gender expression
  • greater focus on individual traits and talents as distinct from gender-based assumptions rooted in the past.
• The growing popularity of  the manosphere counterculture which leverages common anxieties and feelings of isolation among young men, promising solutions to perceived struggles related to dating, personal growth, and financial success. While the focus is young men, some of its messaging trickles down to male adolescents and boys.
• The decline of consistent male role models
  • The share of households with fathers missing more than doubled, increasing from 11% to 25% between 1960 and 2023. Globally, the U.S. stands out with the highest rate of children living in single-parent households, at approximately 23% in 2019, more than three times the worldwide average of 7%. This prevalence is markedly lower in neighboring Canada (15%) and Mexico (7%).
  • The overall share of male teachers in K-12 classrooms has declined over the last three decades, from 30% in 1987 to 23% in 2022. In 2022, female teachers constituted 77.6% of the pre-K-12 teaching workforce, while males made up only 22.4%. This disparity becomes even more pronounced in lower grade levels.

Personally, one of the most poignant memories of my chess teaching career came during a one-time visit to an elementary school classroom in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. An excited eight-year-old African-American boy approached me after the class and said, “I wish I had a Dad like you!” I never saw him after that class, but ten years later, those words still burn in my brain as I think about the plight of the many young boys seeking a stable path to their future manhood.

The struggles young men and boys face in developing their conception of masculinity have far-reaching consequences:

• Mental Health Issues: Men exhibit higher rates of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and suicide compared to women. The societal pressure to be stoic and self-reliant often prevents them from seeking help when needed.
• Relationship Difficulties: Difficulty expressing emotions and vulnerability can hinder the development of deep and meaningful relationships with partners, friends, and family.
• Violence and Aggression: The association of masculinity with aggression and dominance can contribute to increased rates of violence, including domestic abuse and other harmful behaviors.

Can Chess Help? A Pathway to Positive Masculinity

While much has been written about the societal consequences and potential policy remedies related to masculinity, this post explores how teachers (of either sex) can use educational chess to help boys and young men build positive concepts of manhood.

Based on my own experience and interactions with many other successful and inspiring chess coaches, I believe incorporating chess into the lives of young boys can offer a unique and valuable pathway in their development of ideas about masculinity, moving beyond traditional, often limiting, stereotypes. Here’s how:

1. Strategic Thinking and Calculated Risk

   Chess cultivates strategic thinking, planning ahead, and evaluating consequences. This teaches boys that thoughtful action, rather than impulsive aggression, is often the most effective way to navigate challenges. It encourages a more considered and less reactive approach, translating to a more mature and responsible understanding of masculine behavior.

2. Intellectual Strength Over Physical Dominance

   Chess is a battle of wits where intellectual prowess and strategic insight are paramount. Success in chess provides a sense of accomplishment and strength rooted in mental acuity, offering an alternative to the traditional emphasis on physical dominance as a marker of masculinity. This can be particularly empowering for boys who may not excel in physical sports.

3. Emotional Regulation and Resilience

   Chess involves both victories and defeats. Learning to handle both with grace—to be humble in victory and resilient in loss—is a crucial life skill. Boys learn to manage their emotions under pressure, persevere through setbacks, and analyze their mistakes without becoming overly emotional. This fosters emotional intelligence, a key aspect of healthy masculinity.

4. Respect and Sportsmanship

   The etiquette of chess, including the pre- and post-game handshake and acknowledging a good move by an opponent, instills respect and sportsmanship. Boys learn to see their opponent not as an enemy but as a worthy adversary, fostering a sense of fair play and mutual respect vital for healthy relationships.

5. Independent Decision-Making and Responsibility

   In chess, every move is a personal decision with direct consequences. Boys learn to take ownership of their choices and their outcomes. This fosters a sense of responsibility and self-reliance, important aspects of maturity and a healthy masculine identity, without resorting to the idea of being solely self-sufficient and never needing help.

6. Patience and Focus

   A good chess game requires patience, concentration, and the ability to focus for extended periods. These skills help boys develop a more measured and thoughtful approach to tasks and challenges, moving away from the stereotype of needing constant action or external validation.

7. Building Confidence Through Skill Development

   As boys learn the rules, strategies, and tactics of chess and see their skills improve, their self-confidence grows. This confidence is earned through effort and learning, providing a solid foundation for self-esteem that isn’t based on superficial attributes.

8. Inclusive Environment

   Chess is a game that transcends physical attributes and can be enjoyed by individuals of all backgrounds and abilities. This inclusive nature can help boys appreciate different forms of strength and intelligence. This broadens their understanding of what it means to be a capable and respected individual.

Practical Guidance for Chess in Education (CIE) Teachers

How can you, as a CIE-trained instructor, nurture a healthy sense of masculinity for the boys or young men in your care? Here are some suggestions:

• Explicitly Connect Chess Concepts to Life Skills (Masculinity-Focused):

  • Strategic Thinking & Calculated Risk: When discussing planning moves, say, “Just like in chess, making a plan and thinking ahead helps you succeed in life. It’s not about acting tough impulsively, but about being smart and thoughtful. That’s a real strength.”
  • Intellectual Strength Over Physical Dominance: After a particularly clever move or strategy, highlight, “See how [Student’s Name] used his/her brain to win that? Chess shows us that true strength often comes from our minds, not just our muscles. Being smart and strategic is incredibly powerful.”
  • Emotional Regulation & Resilience: After a tough loss or a mistake, guide students: “It’s natural to feel frustrated when you lose, but notice how [Student’s Name] shook hands and then thought about what went wrong. Learning from mistakes and bouncing back, without getting overly emotional, is a sign of a truly strong person.”
  • Respect & Sportsmanship: Emphasize the handshake and post-game comments: “Shaking hands and showing respect for your opponent, even when they beat you, shows integrity. A true leader respects others, even in competition.”
  • Independent Decision-Making & Responsibility: When discussing a choice made, “You made that decision, and you own the outcome. Taking responsibility for your choices, good or bad, is a huge part of growing up and becoming a capable man.”
  • Patience and Focus: During longer games, point out, “This game required a lot of patience and focus. In life, the ability to concentrate and stick with something, even when it’s challenging, helps you achieve big goals.”
  • Building Confidence Through Skill Development: As students improve, say, “Look at how much better you’ve gotten! That confidence isn’t just given; it’s earned by putting in the effort to learn and improve. That’s a kind of confidence that truly lasts.”
  • Inclusive Environment: When pairing students of different skill levels or backgrounds, comment, “Chess is great because anyone can play and succeed, no matter who they are or how strong they are physically. It’s about respecting everyone’s intellect and skills.”

• Facilitate Post-Game Discussions

  • Instead of just “who won/lost,” ask:
    • “What was your best decision in that game, and why?”
    • “What’s one thing you’d do differently next time, and what did you learn from it?”
    • “How did you manage your feelings when you were winning/losing?”
  • Connect these discussions to broader life scenarios. “How is learning from a chess mistake like learning from a mistake in real life?”

• Share Short, Relevant Anecdotes

  • Briefly mention a grandmaster who showed great resilience, or a famous chess player who was known for their intellectual prowess rather than physical strength. Keep it short and relatable.

• Model the Behavior

  • As the teacher, consistently demonstrate patience, respect, good sportsmanship, and a calm demeanor, especially when a student makes a mistake or struggles. Your actions will speak louder than words.

• Use Role-Playing/Hypotheticals (Briefly)

  • “Imagine you’re playing a tough game, and you get frustrated. What’s a ‘chess move’ (meaning a thoughtful action) you could make to calm down and focus?”

• Focus on Process, Not Just Outcome

  • Praise effort, persistence, and strategic thinking more than just winning. This reinforces the value of the skills being developed. “I really liked how you thought through that checkmate sequence, even though you missed one step. That kind of thinking will serve you well!”

By intentionally weaving these messages into your chess instruction, you can use the game as a powerful vehicle for teaching young boys a more well-rounded and positive understanding of masculinity.

About the Author

Neil Dietsch, Managing Director, Chess in Education – US

After earning an MBA at the University of Michigan, Neil Dietsch’s professional career included information technology consulting, management, and senior project management positions in Fortune 500 companies. He served as president of the Alabama Chess Federation from 2010 to 2019. In 2016 he founded Chess in Schools – which became Chess in Education – US in 2023.

This article includes a mix of original and GenAI content validated by the author.